China and Vendors at Sarojini

When a person (typically of fairer sex i.e. females) goes to visit the bazaars in Lajpat Nagar or Sarojini Nagar, a method of bargaining is employed which usually results in the desired result of getting a plenitude of clothes in less cost. The method is as such: the person walks up to the vendor of the desired item and asks its price. The vendor usually quotes a price which is 10 times the minimum price he is willing to sell. The naïve buyer (NB) will settle after one round of haggling. The experienced predator (EP) will go on haggling till the price reaches jaw-dropping low amount. EP will think that she is the queen of shopping and NB will beat herself silly thinking that she overpaid. What they will remain oblivious to is that they both over paid. It is because the cumulative effect of bargaining by both NB and EP is that the vendor still ends up selling his item at a price much more than the cost price (the price at which he bought it) and making a lot of profit. He succeeds in doing this by claiming exorbitant price.

Training grounds for future diplomat as advocated by me aka Sarojini

China is doing the same thing with South China Sea. It claims sovereignty over 90% of South China Sea when it actually doesn't deserve even half of it. And where few years ago, this was a non-issue; today, China is being asked to compromise and settle down for less when it should rightly be settling down for nothing! It is a good method of bargaining where you ask for a hell of a lot more than you deserve so that you finally get a lot more than you deserve. It is like claiming that you are the Lord of the Universe so that people will request you to settle down for Lord of the Milky Way.

Asia according to Racist Chinese Assh***s!

Of course, you should be able to back up your claim with some threat, some force. A Death Star is ideal for such purposes as long as you have taken care that the thermal exhaust port does not leads directly to the freaking reactor core. However, we Earthlings being not that advanced have to settle for conventional military strength and economic power. China has both thanks to its decades of strong economic growth, huge spending on military budget and its clone army large population. It can bully the small ASEAN countries and stand up to USA. That is why, instead of laughing on China’s demands people are trying to pacify it.

Products fresh out of Chinese Clone Factory in Xyushiaqaza

Now, when China could do it, why should India remain behind? We are such expert bargainers (ask any frequent visitor to flea markets about our haggling skills) that it is our duty to engage in a similar adventure. We should learn from this whole drama and stake claim over the Indian Ocean. Even its name is Indian Ocean, not World Community's Ocean. We just need to get double decades of double digit economic growth and raise a droid army to counter China’s clone army. When we are powerful enough to enforce such claim and stand up to both China and USA, then we could start sulking about historical injustice and the whole of the Ocean coming under our Exclusive Economic Zone (because f**k UN Convention on Law of the Seas). We will quote some dubious historical sources or use our creative brains to makes such a source, to point out how the entire Indian Ocean used to belong to us and that is why it is called Indian Ocean. Even if all this does not get us the entire ocean, it may get us some part of it. Even if we go from having almost 0% of an Ocean to 20% of it, I can’t think of a better bargain in the history of humankind.

Asia according to Glorious Indians with a heritage of 10000000000 years and superpowers!

My humble request to the Government of India is that the economic growth and droid building should be brought in focus while at the same time we should encourage young generation to go to Sarojini and Lajpat so that a day will come when we will be the world pioneers in bargaining and haggling. Shakuntla aka Bharat ki mata ki Jai!!

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