China and Vendors at Sarojini

When a person (typically of fairer sex i.e. females) goes to visit the bazaars in Lajpat Nagar or Sarojini Nagar, a method of bargaining is employed which usually results in the desired result of getting a plenitude of clothes in less cost. The method is as such: the person walks up to the vendor of the desired item and asks its price. The vendor usually quotes a price which is 10 times the minimum price he is willing to sell. The naïve buyer (NB) will settle after one round of haggling. The experienced predator (EP) will go on haggling till the price reaches jaw-dropping low amount. EP will think that she is the queen of shopping and NB will beat herself silly thinking that she overpaid. What they will remain oblivious to is that they both over paid. It is because the cumulative effect of bargaining by both NB and EP is that the vendor still ends up selling his item at a price much more than the cost price (the price at which he bought it) and making a lot of profit. He succeeds in doing this by claiming exorbitant price.

Training grounds for future diplomat as advocated by me aka Sarojini

China is doing the same thing with South China Sea. It claims sovereignty over 90% of South China Sea when it actually doesn't deserve even half of it. And where few years ago, this was a non-issue; today, China is being asked to compromise and settle down for less when it should rightly be settling down for nothing! It is a good method of bargaining where you ask for a hell of a lot more than you deserve so that you finally get a lot more than you deserve. It is like claiming that you are the Lord of the Universe so that people will request you to settle down for Lord of the Milky Way.

Asia according to Racist Chinese Assh***s!

Of course, you should be able to back up your claim with some threat, some force. A Death Star is ideal for such purposes as long as you have taken care that the thermal exhaust port does not leads directly to the freaking reactor core. However, we Earthlings being not that advanced have to settle for conventional military strength and economic power. China has both thanks to its decades of strong economic growth, huge spending on military budget and its clone army large population. It can bully the small ASEAN countries and stand up to USA. That is why, instead of laughing on China’s demands people are trying to pacify it.

Products fresh out of Chinese Clone Factory in Xyushiaqaza

Now, when China could do it, why should India remain behind? We are such expert bargainers (ask any frequent visitor to flea markets about our haggling skills) that it is our duty to engage in a similar adventure. We should learn from this whole drama and stake claim over the Indian Ocean. Even its name is Indian Ocean, not World Community's Ocean. We just need to get double decades of double digit economic growth and raise a droid army to counter China’s clone army. When we are powerful enough to enforce such claim and stand up to both China and USA, then we could start sulking about historical injustice and the whole of the Ocean coming under our Exclusive Economic Zone (because f**k UN Convention on Law of the Seas). We will quote some dubious historical sources or use our creative brains to makes such a source, to point out how the entire Indian Ocean used to belong to us and that is why it is called Indian Ocean. Even if all this does not get us the entire ocean, it may get us some part of it. Even if we go from having almost 0% of an Ocean to 20% of it, I can’t think of a better bargain in the history of humankind.

Asia according to Glorious Indians with a heritage of 10000000000 years and superpowers!

My humble request to the Government of India is that the economic growth and droid building should be brought in focus while at the same time we should encourage young generation to go to Sarojini and Lajpat so that a day will come when we will be the world pioneers in bargaining and haggling. Shakuntla aka Bharat ki mata ki Jai!!

PS: Visit this amazing site Atlas of Prejudice

Accidental Similarities between Indira Gandhi and Cersei Lannister

This article might come to haunt me when Congress comes to power (or not) but then I am too much of a fan of both Game of Thrones and Indian political history to resist from this. I know it sounds weird but there are parallels between both these dynamic ladies. Maybe I am the only one who sees them but then who cares? 

[Disclaimer: I am not in any way implying that Indira Gandhi is an incestuous child-killer. She might be non-incestuous child-killer according to her critics. No! What I mean to say is that there are some similarities in the lives they lived. I am in no way trying to put down any of the achievements of Indira Gandhi. I consider Indira Gandhi to be a far better, effective and capable leader than Cersei can even dream of being. She is someone who is still revered by people for her role in winning the Indo-Pak war and who in my admittedly limited knowledge never depended on her sexuality to get her way. I personally respect her for being a kick-ass and consider her to be far above Cersei in almost any respect, although I am also critical of her many decisions.]

Coming back to the purpose of this article, the parallels between Indira Gandhi and Cersei Lannister begin with their parents. Both came from illustrious lineages. Both had fathers who were respected leaders and statesmen. One was feared more than the other, but then Westros is no place to practice Gandhian ahimsa or parliamentary democracy. Both lost their mothers at early age. Both lived during turbulent times, when the old guard (British and Targareyans) was making way for a new one (Indians and Baratheons). Both their families benefited immensely from this transition. Nehru became India’s first Prime Minister and Tywin Lannister got a king as his son-in-law. Their families spawned a dynasty that had a major impact on the political scene of their respective worlds. Nehru-Gandhi dynasty has given three Prime Ministers and one puppeteer of a puppet Prime Minister to India. Lannister (-Baratheon?) dynasty has given two kings and a Queen Mother. So far, so good?

I may or may not be pointing out the similarities between Indira Gandhi's and Cruella De Vil's hairstyle.

But the biggest reason why I write this article is because both women were strong political leaders feared by men around them. Neither India nor Westros has been described as women friendly by anyone since forever. But they defied patriarchy and steamrolled their way to the top. Neither was taken seriously in the beginning. Indira Gandhi was called a goongi-gudiya by her own party men. And Cersei was packed off to King’s Landing as a ‘pretty face’. But they soon became politically apt, beating even veterans at their own games (at least occasionally in Cersei’s case). One was more insane than the other, though it depends on your political views to decide which one.

Joffrey surpasses Sanjay Gandhi in every respect, including the whining level.
(Source: http://indianexpress.com/photos/picture-gallery-others/sanjay-gandhis-birth-anniversary-his-unseen-pictures-with-indira-varun-rajiv/3/
http://state-lines.com/trashtalk-gameofthrones/ )

Both were mommy dearest to their elder sons and this was perhaps their biggest weakness. The sons had lot of influence on their mothers’ decision making. They were the stars of their mothers' lives, being groomed as their mothers’ heirs. Indira Gandhi had two sons: Rajiv and Sanjay. Cersei also had two sons: Joffrey, the universally beloved (hehe) and Tommen. Both had their favourites: Sanjay and Joffrey, who somehow turned out to be megalomaniacs and sociopaths, not respectively. Maybe they were just spoiled rotten but both lacked any consideration about the consequences of their actions on people. Of course, it is too hard for anyone to come even close to Joffrey’s level of evilness but it wasn’t like Sanjay didn’t try. Mass sterilization, sometimes of bachelors, gagging of press, jailing of opponents and suppression of civil rights might be “just another day” for Westrosi people but it is too much for modern-day sensitive people. He never came anywhere close to Joffrey’s level of diabolism (Ned Stark, Bran or kittens anyone?), but it was still pretty high by Indian political standard. They fortunately unfortunately died early deaths leaving (easily filled) vacuums in nobody’s their mommy’s hearts. 

Their deaths shook their respective mothers very badly. Both became paranoid after it, trusting only their close family members in Indira’s case and just Qyburn in Cersei’s case. The younger sons succeeded their older brothers’ to the throne after their deaths. Rajiv became Indira’s rock. But for Cersei, Tommen was too timid and too, err, non-psychopathic to be a good king. She continued to mourn for her loss by turning a deranged bloodthirsty woman herself (see Qyburn’s experiments for more revolting details).

Bonus 'Joffrey being slapped' scene for anyone who is feeling low. At least evil people are punished in some universe.
(Source: http://tumblrofthrones.tumblr.com/post/67866780867/wrathfulcersei-cersei-lannister-meme-11)

A question that comes to our mind is: why in this world did strong, otherwise shrewd women, allow their son to dominate them in such a way? In Cersei’s case it is still understandable as Joffrey was the king and everyone, except our BAMF Lord Tywin, had to bow down to his wishes. But why did Indira heeded Sanjay’s advise, can only have one answer: the bonds of motherhood had blinded her. Anyways, Indira didn’t outlive her son for too long. And Cersei also met her downfall soon. Will she ever make a comeback or be fed alive to hungry dogs (as I hope) will be a question that can only be answered by George R. R. Martin. Till that time, poor fellows like me try to survive on cocktail of Game of Thrones reruns and crackpot theories.